THE WAR IS OVER!!

It is in the LOW 70's in Kansas City.

I repeat....the weather has cooled. It is in the LOW 70's.

Understanding, of course, that the good people of Kansas City are apparently used to spending their time in oven-like heat (you know, the kind that makes moving, breathing, and living impossible? The kind that causes you to sweat in places that, up until that point, you were positive didn't have sweat glands...like, for example, eyelids? THE KANSAS CITY HEAT MAKES MY FREAKING EYELIDS SWEAT. MY. EYELIDS. SWEAT.)

So, even though the people that are native to this area are used to this weather, EVEN THEY are getting sick of it. Even they hate sweating in the non-sweatable places of their bodies. What I'm saying is that it's NOT JUST ME.

It's freaking hot. This heat makes HELL look like DISNEY ON ICE. We're freaking dying out here. It's the nuclear holocaust and we're out of gas masks. (Can these analogies get more dramatic? Didn't think so.)

So, when it cooled down today, imagine our delight.

Delight? DELIGHT? Yes, delight. Similar to the delight of hearing, "Hey, Amanda, here's a pill. If you take this, you will immediately look like a young Suzanne Somers (pre thigh-master...like Three's Company Suzanne Somers) and money will rain from the sky...and oh, by the way, here's a genie to grant you 3 wishes." That kind of delight.

Immediately, I decided I was going to venture outside.

And, oh. Ohhhh. OHHHHHHHH. It was glorious. DELIGHTFUL, GRAND, and GLORIOUS.

As strains from "Oh, What a Beautiful Morning" played in the background, people came out into the clear sunlight like prisoners emerging from a soviet gulag.

They were peeking out of potholes in the street, I tell you!

Windows flew open, people were waving at each other, singing to each other, strangers were kissing each other on the street in gleeful happiness and exuberant joy.

Confetti was raining from the sky - it was like the ticker tape parade after WWII ended - THE WAR IS OVER read the headline on the Kansas City Star!! We all danced and leapt and hugged and cried, and realized WE HAD MADE IT!! WE HAD WON!!!!!!

This is all a massive exaggeration, by the way, but I think it gets my point across. Basically, people were pretty excited about the weather today.

I'm sitting on my balcony right now, writing this, actually wearing more than a tank top and underwear for the first time in months, and my eyelids are NOT SWEATING, and I've decided that I'm just going to pretend that this heat is totally over. I'm going to pretend that this wasn't just a moment in time, a flicker of happiness in the midst of this godforsaken heat....and I am absolutely REFUSING to look at the weather forecast for tomorrow.